My Dad Is A Little Weird...

I've been visiting my parents about two or three weekends a month lately, and its come to my attention that my dad is just a little strange! Observe.

Two weeks ago: My mom is irritated by my dad's outfit. He is wearing a White Sox T-shirt, a White Sox hoodie, a White Sox jacket, a White Sox baseball hat, and even White Sox shoes! I wonder what his favorite team is?

Last week: My mom leaves to go out to a bar with some friends. As soon as she's gone, my dad whips out a new ring he bought on eBay. It is a silver ring in the shape of two naked women, with a small diamond in the middle. "Look how detailed it is!" he says."It even has a little crotch!" He takes out a magnifying glass so that I can see the crotch better.

Laughing, I ask, "What does Mom think about it?"

"She hasn't seen it," he replies. "I only wear it when she's not home!"

This week: My mom leaves to go watch football at the bar with some friends. As soon as she's gone, my dad goes to the closet and pulls out a fur hat with ear flaps. (He wouldn't let me take a picture of it, but it looks similar to this one, except without the chin strap! He explains that he just got it at the flea market this morning. He takes out scissors and starts cutting off pieces of the hat to make it look more the way he wants it. He asks me how it looks, and models it with his leather jacket on as well, asking if it is a fancy look for next time he goes out. He says he is not going to show my mom until the next time they go out, and he will wait until the last minute to grab it!

"What you should do is, wait until you're already outside, and then be like, 'Wait, I forgot my hat!'" I suggest. "Then you can run in and get it, and it will be too late for her to make you go put it back!"

"Yeah, plus in the car it will be kind of dark, so she won't really notice it until we're already driving," my dad adds.

My dad's head is a strange place... inside and out!

PS... He just came home from the library, and came downstairs with huge rings on each of his fingers, saying, "Notice anything different about me?" ROFL!

Comments

[Nancy Campbell]

Oh my gosh, that is hilarious. I swear, Dads get weirder the older they get. Mine is becoming a full-fledged curmudgeon.

No naked lady rings, though. Yet.

I do love that both of your stories begin with your mother going to the bar. Sounds like my kind of lady.

[corrie]

I agree with Nancy, both stories beginning with your mom leaving to a bar. If you love your dad, then it doesn't really matter how weird he is...as long as he's harmless.

[Tanya @ Teenautism]

Dads are the ultimate source of weirdness! But funny!