Stranger At The CVS

Here's a strange story about something that happened... or, rather, something that didn't happen!

Every day at around 2:15 I take Pufferfish and go pick up Rafael from his school, and then go get Little Bear at her school. Today, on the way to get Rafael, Pufferfish and I stopped at CVS to pick up a few things. As I got Pufferfish from her car seat, I saw a lady, all bundled up and with a scarf over her face, standing outside the store. The lady was African American. I watched her stop an African American man who came out of the store, and ask him for a ride to the train depot. The man said "No," and walked to his car. Then the lady stopped an African American woman and asked her for a ride to the train depot. The woman brushed her off, saying she was pressed for time.

I was a little nervous that the lady would ask me for a ride, so I sidled past her as she was still talking to the other woman.

As I walked through the store, I thought about the lady outside. I wondered if I should tell a store employee that the woman was outside, asking for rides and making people uncomfortable. But I decided not to. I have been in that situation before, where I had to depend on strangers like that.

I thought about it more, and decided that, if the lady asked me, maybe I would give her a ride to the train depot! I used to do that kind of thing all of the time. And my brothers and I used to hitchhike a lot ourselves. We depended on people to trust us. We used to go up to people in parking lots and ask them for a ride to the next town, or back to where we were staying, or to a church that would help us with money or food. And, more often than not, we used to get rides! I don't remember ever not getting a ride within an hour of starting to look for one.

When I first got my own car, I used to give people rides myself, as well. I remember going to court for my brother, and being asked by a couple outside the courthouse for a ride to the train depot. I took them. I didn't get killed. I remember staying in a Motel 6 and a lady knocking on my door and asking for a ride to the grocery store. I gave her one. She didn't kill me, and we became good friends for a while after that. I remember when I lived in an apartment complex, people who knew I had a car would come and ask me for a ride to somewhere, and I always agreed to it. I never died. In my experience, if you trusted people and were kind to them, they would behave accordingly, and you would get to meet lots of interesting people and hear great stories in the process. It has been a long time since I have begged for, or given, a ride. It would be nice to help this lady out, wouldn't it?

But when Pufferfish and I walked outside, the lady said nothing to us.

As I helped Pufferfish back into her car seat, I saw two African American women and an African American man walk up to the store. The lady asked them for a ride, and they said no.

It seemed like she was only asking African American people for rides! Was it because she just didn't like white people, or did she assume that, since she was African American, other African Americans would be more likely to trust her and give her a ride?

I thought about going up to the lady and actually offering to give her a ride, but I didn't. I went to pick up Rafael from school.

On the way to pick up Little Bear, we passed the CVS. The lady was still there, looking for a ride. I pointed her out to Rafael. "See that lady? She is asking people for a ride but nobody will give her one!"

"She looks like a ninja," Rafael observed.

"Hmm, she kinda does, with her black scarf over her face," I agreed.

"Its a good thing we didn't give her a ride! She would be nice when you talked to her, but once she got in your car she would try to kill us," said Rafael.

"What makes you think that?" I wondered. It seemed like a pretty dramatic conclusion for a 6-year-old to come up with.

"I saw her on TV," said Rafael. "On the news! They said, `Don't let this lady in your car, because she'll be nice to you when she asks you, but when she's in your car she will try to kill you.' They said she had her face covered like a ninja."

I thought about it and imagined the lady pulling a gun from her heavy winter jacket as she got into the car. So much for trusting people!

The whole escapade could have been a social science experiment, like one of those "What Would You Do" shows on TV where they try to see how many people would ignore a person in need. Did the woman by the CVS ignore me because I was white, and she thought a white person wouldn't give her a ride? Or did she ignore me because I had a baby with me? If I were a better person, would I have gone and offered her a ride? Would I have ended up being carjacked? Is Rafael, at age 6, already jaded by life because he assumes a person asking for a ride is a killer/ Or did he really see that lady on TV? Will these questions follow me for the rest of my life?

What about you? Would you have given the lady a ride?

Comments

[Diana]

Hmmm...I probably would have given her a ride. When I was younger, I could say definitely without a doubt. As I get older, and the more I see on the news and stories I hear, I am always a little more apprehensive about trusting people and their motives, etc. I don't think I would have given a man a ride, only because if something did go wrong he could definitely overpower me. I don't know, I guess a woman seems less threatening. I can say I would have definitely, for sure, given her a ride if you and I were together, or if I had a man with me in the car, etc. Just seems logical. But I'm not sure I'd trust anyone if I was by myself and I don't think I would want to take a chance of putting any of the kids in a bad situation just in case. Yeah, I'm definitely less trusting now, but I still think it is so important to help people when you can.

[CorrieHwe]

I'm with you. I want to be able to give people rides, but I also feel responsible for the safety and welfare of my family. Even it were only me in the car, my family still needs someone to take care of them if something were to happen to me.

I wish there was so way to know "This person is okay" or "Don't let this person fool you, they aren't as nice as they look."

Or...it just occurred to me. If I had the money, maybe offer her cab fare or bus fare???

[Tanya @ Teenautism]

Good question. It's a shame that in this day and age we have to watch out for people who could harm us. I help out in other ways like volunteering my time or money, then I feel like I'm contributing without putting myself at risk. It's unfortunate that I feel programmed to think that way, but I do what I can, and what I feel comfortable with.