Slow Down, Gym Shoe!

I Was In CHARGE!

Hi everyone!
First of all, let me just say it was Little Bear's birthday last Wednesday, and she turned 6! The reason I never blogged about it was because I had taken a picture of Little Bear's biggest present, and I was planning on posting a blog entry saying, "Guess what Little Bear got for her birthday?" and then putting the picture. But my computer has been sucky lately, and I haven't been able to get the picture out of my emails, so I'll just have to tell you. It was a TRAMPOLINE! Its provided hours of fun for everyone, including the adults in the house. Little Bear is always on the move, so the trampoline gives her a way to get all of her "jumpies" out in a safe, appropriate way, instead of bouncing around on the furniture, etc.
Second of all, I probably posted a while back that I was so sad about not being able to go to the BlogHer Conference. Adding insult to injury was the fact that BlogHer was right here in my hometown! But I just could not afford it. I can't even afford gas right now!
So instead, I got a job for the weekend. I answered an ad on Craiglist asking for people who would be willing to help provide child care for children with special needs at a conference in a near by hotel. I got hired right away for it, but I didn't have any idea what conference I'd be working at or what the kids would be like. I did some Google searching and found out that I would be providing child care at the CHARGE Syndrome Conference.
I had never heard of Charge Syndrome! I did some more Google searching and found some medical jargon about whaat it was, but it didn't really tell me what the kids would be like. But then I realized, where there are children with CHARGE Syndrome, there must be mom bloggers of children with CHARGE Syndrome!
Sure enough, I found The Adventures Of Kennedy, The Mighty Max Update, and Makenna And Camille, It was so cool to get to read about them and their lives, and then actually meet them at the conference! It also helped ease my anxiety, because I'm always a little nervous about meeting a bunch of new people, and knowing that there would be some mom bloggers there made me feel more like I belonged there.
So... the child care job went pretty well! The kids were wonderful! The conference felt like a huge family reunion, with everyone just so happy to be there and to be with each other. It was awesome to be a part of it!
I have to say, I was not crazy about the corporation that provided child care. Its weird because I was sort of comparing it to the times I volunteered at a summer camp for kids in foster care and the time when I worked at a Family Camp for kids with special needs. Both of those were run by non-profit organizations and staffed mostly by volunteers or very low-paid employees. But both of those camps had such a cheerful, celebration-like feeling, At these camps everything was set up to kind of dazzle the kids and make sure they had the time of their lives. And all of the adults involved would always be so friendly, and the supervisors would be so super caring and cheerful, and there was this feeling that we were all in it together for the sake of the kids.
But the child care at this conference had more of a day-care feeling. The supervisors were kind of distant, and the atmosphere felt more like, "Do what we tell you, keep the kids busy, and don't make us look bad in front of the parents." And, you know, like, every possible corner was cut. In the beginning we staff members were told that the days were going to be really structured, and there would be games and toys around just to fill in any empty time. But a lot of the activities never materialized. Most of the structured activities we did do were crafts... It was as if they just put in a big order at Oriental Trading Co and called it a day. I mean, I love crafts, but by the end of the first day I felt bad asking the kids to do yet another craft. How many different things could I tell them to paint (with face paint, strangely) and decorate with alphabet foamies?
I think the people who really made it great for the kids were the teenaged volunteers, mostly siblings of kids with CHARGE Syndrome. Six-to-ten-year-olds are fascinated by teenagers, and these teenagers gave it their all! They let the kids climb all over them, do their hair, stick stickers on them, etc, They played games with the kids and goofed around with them and basically treated every kid there like a younger sibling for the weekend!
Anyway, it was a long weekend but definitely worth it, and I was sad to see it end!

Boo!

Some people think that Pufferfish looks a lot like Boo from Monsters Inc. What do you think?

     

A Visit From Tigerlily

Jimmy's 3-year-old niece, Tigerlily, spent the day with us today while her mom ran errands. Tigerlily is a lot like Little Bear, very spirited and dynamic, and full of energy! The two little girls are constantly either getting along great, or fighting, with no real middle ground. Keeping them in the house wasn't going so well today, because they couldn't agree on something to play. Just as they had decided to color, and had taken out every single crayon andd coloring book Little Bear owned, one of them would decide, "I want to play with dolls instead!" They'd get all the coloring stuff cleaned up, take out all of the dolls, and then one of them would say, "I want to play dress up!" This caused numerous arguments between the two!

Since it was nice and warm out today, and since Tigerlily kept running out the back door, I decided to let them all out to play for a while. Not such a good idea... they came in covered in mud!

Finally we decided on an old standby... McDonalds Land! An afternoon of climbing and playing seemed to be just what everyone needed!

Pufferfish and Tigerlily riding in the car

Tigerlily looking out the window. (We were parked outside Target, while Diana ran in to get formula, so don't freak out that she's not wearing a seatbelt!)

  

Pufferfish shoots baskets

It went so well that Tigerlily's mother offered to take Little Bear home with her for a sleepover. So thats where Little Bear is, now, at her first sleepover with her cousin!

It was a cool day... and tonight, Jimmy and Monkeyboy come home!

My Little Girls

What I wish I had done...
I wish I had grabbed Maggie and put her in the van with her sister, instead of doing the opposite and telling Melissa to go back. I wish I had told him, "I'm not leaving them with you when you're acting like this!" I wish I had had my own place to take them to, someplace safe where they could be.
I wish I had done anything besides get in the van and drive off!
I know it was a confusing moment, and we didn't know what else to do besides just get away. I know that we had an obligation to protect Monkeyboy and Little Bear and Pufferfish, first and foremost. I know that if I had taken the girls, he could have called the police and had us all arrested for kidnapping, because technically, although I call them "my" girls, they are not mine at all.
I know that I have done everything I could, in the past. I've kept them overnight when I wasn't supposed to, because I didn't feel comfortable leaving them with their dad. I've met with DCFS, told everything I knew to DCFS, had DCFS talk to the girls. I've called their school social worker. I've called the police department in their town. The bottom line always is... yes, they have a really icky dad, but there are many kids who are doing worst, kids who are being beaten and starved and abandoned, and in relation to those kids, having an icky dad isn't a big deal. They'll be fine with their icky dad for a few more years, until they grow up.

Here's the thing. I don't feel safe going to pick them up, because I have to deal with their dad. He's unpredictable and has no sense of what is right or wrong.

This is a person who, shortly after I first met him, grabbed me and stuck his finger in my crotch,

This is a person who once got arrested for being drunk and disorderly... at the zoo with his kids.

This is a person who put the sick family cat "to sleep" by hitting it on the head, because he didn't want to pay the vet bill...and then told his children how he did it.

But they're going to be fine with him, right?

Yeah. Right.

  

New Kids On the Block!

A while back, I mentioned that I might be getting a job watching two more kids after school, in addition to Monkeyboy and Little Bear and Pufferfish. Well, I did get the job! Yesterday "Bobby" and "Candice" came over for an hour to have a trial run at spending time at our house. It went really well! The kids brought their own snacks, since they're not allowed to eat most of the things we have at our house. That was one of the things worrying me, since I was afraid it would be hard to find things to feed the new kids, and that they would be upset if they saw the other kids eating things that they the new kids) couldn't have. But it worked fine! Bobby, Candice, Little Bear and Pufferfish all sat at the table and had their snacks together, and then they went outside and played in the backyard together. They hunted for worms. I gave them a little dish to keep the worms in, and some spoons for digging in the mud. They had a lot of fun, and Candice and Little Bear got along especially well together, despite the fact that Candice is four years older than Little Bear. Bobby preferred to spend most of his time with me, telling me facts about worms. (He has Asperger's Syndrome, which I think I mentioned before.)
I was really hoping that Bobby, who is 12 years old, would spend more time with Monkeyboy and his friends. But yesterday Monkeyboy and Maricio were playing violent video games that Bobby isn't allowed to play. I was a little nervous about what to do. On one hand, I wanted Bobby to spend time with the other boys, but on the other hand, he couldn't play the video games, and I didn't want to make Monkeyboy change his own life too much on my account. So I told Bobby he could sit in there and watch the games but not play. (Please note that Bobby has seen and played these games before often at his dad's house, according to his mom, so it wasn't like I was introducing Bobby to a whole new world of violence and gore!) It still made me nervous though. But after a short while Bobby got bored and wandered out to play with the little girls instead.
I really hope he'll get the chance to hang out with Monkeyboy and the others! If only they weren't always stuck on those video games!
Another difficulty was that Bobby insisted he was allowed to watch Cartoon Network, although Candice said they weren't. I wasn't sure, because I know they don't have cable at all at their house, so I just said we'd turn off the TV for now and ask their mom, when she got there, what they were allowed to watch next time. It turned out they're not allowed to watch Cartoon Network at all, or anything else with any violence in it, including Power Rangers, etc.
Anyway, I think what I'm going to do is bring some E-rated GameCube games from my mom's house tomorrow, and hook up the GameCube for Bobby in the living room, so if he wants to play video games he can play those. Also, I'm going to make a visual schedule for Bobby. The kids will come to the house, have a snack, and do their homework, and then have some choices. I'll include playing outside, playing GameCube, doing an art project, etc, on the schedule, but leave off TV.
This is all really new to me, because my own family is really unstructured, and the kids have a lot more freedom as far as what they eat and what they watch. There are definitely limits in our house, but we set our limits more on what you do, and how you treat others, and how you act, rather than what you watch and eat and play. I think I can make it work for Bobby and Candice though.
Does anyone have any other tips for me, for things that I can provide forthe new kids (especially Bobby) to do?

Also, I'd really appreciate it if you'd check out these two new articles I've published on Associated Content! I get paid every time someone reads my articles, and every little bit does help!

Setting Up a Reward System for Your Child
Every parent wants to teach their child good habits. Setting up a reward system, with specific goals in mind, is one way to do this!
View more »
Parenting Tips: Creating a Visual Routine Chart for Your Young Child
How to create a visual chart to help your child learn to follow rules and a routine.
View more »

Hoping For Some New Kids

Now that Little Bear is in kindergarten, Jimmy and Diana suggested that I look for some other kids to watch in the house during the day.SO I've been sort of looking around, through SitterCity and Craigslist, for people who need child care. I've had a few inquiries, but so far no real bites. I go to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and its hard to find people who need child care on the three particular days that I'm available. The people who do want child care three days a week usually want it in their own homes. Or they want someone with a really nice house and everything, like people who have a whole extra room just for the child care business. Anyway there's this one lady I've been corresponding with who has two kids, ages 12 and 9, and wants after school care for them. The twelve-year-old is a boy, and he has Asperger's Syndrome, which is one of the reasons why the lady was particularly interested in having me care for him... because I have a lot of experience working with kids with autism. Plus I think it would be really good for that boy, because Monkeyboy is 11, and there are a ton of neighborhood boys about the same age who hang out with Monkeyboy. The boy who might be coming, he goes to a special ed school in another town, so it might be really nice for him to get a chance to hang out with some "regular" boys his own age. I don't know about the 9-year-old girl though. She'll sort of be on her own, because she's a lot older than Little Bear. I'm sure she could play with the boys, but unless she's up for playing video games at all times, wrestling, etc, she might get tired of them.
If they do come, I'm going to try to look for some other ideas for things to amuse the school-aged kids. I could probably get board games and movies and stuff at GoodWill, but it would be nice to think of some projects all the kids could do together... including the two new kids, Monkeyboy and Little Bear, and the neighborhood kids... you know? If anyone has ideas, let me know!
Anyway, the lady and her kids are coming over tomorrow evening to meet me and my crew. I'm a little nervous. I know I'd do a good job at taking care of those new kids, but I don't always make the best first impression. I get too nervous and socially awkward. Plus Diana is nervous that the house is going to be too messy for the people. Its not filthy or anything... Its just that, in a small house with three kids and two dogs, its hard to keep everything neat and organized. Plus the dogs peed all ovethe new carpet in Little Bear's room. About fifty times. I hope the lady won't notice!
Anyway... wish me luck!

Also, please check out my two newest Associated Content articles!

Girls with ADHD: A Different Kind of Deficit
Statistics show that boys are 3 to 9 times more likely than girls to have ADHD. Yet, in adults, ADHD occurs equally among men and women. Why aren't girls being diagnosed, and who is paying the price?
View more »

Boing, by Nick Bruel
Even children who don't usually like story times will enjoy this story about a kangaroo who is learning how to jump!
View more »

When The Cat Is Away...

Jimmy, the self-proclaimed boss of the household, is going away on a nine-day-long business trip to New Orleans.

Here is a little preview of things that will be going on in the next nine days...

Shhh... don't tell!

Dud Of A Day!

Do you ever have a day that just seems to fall flat on it's face? Today is that kind of day for me. Not that anything went badly... It's just that usually I try to be really interactive with the kids, and we go on outtings in the mornings and do activities at home and stuff like that. And today I just didn't really have anything. We went to our usual park playgroup in the morning, but none of our usual friends came, it was all new people, and they all went home early. (The usual Monday crew stays at the park for lunch and then we go on a long walk with the kids!) So by 12:15, we were back at home. Then the baby had a doctor's appointment at 2:20, and I wanted to have some quiet time before that, so while the baby was napping I let Little Bear watch a couple episodes of Bindi The Jungle Girl. We went to the doctor's appointment (Pufferfish is going to need another round of antibiotics for her stubborn ear infection!) and then, on the way home, we stopped at Oberweis for some ice cream as a treat.
Now Little Bear is outside playing with her little nextdoor friend, and Pufferfish is laying down finishing her nap. (I had to wake her up from her first nap to take her to the doctor, so she's been in a foul mood since then!) Little Bear is supposed to also clean up her bedroom and the mess in the backyard before everyone else comes home, so I told her she could do that at five o'clock, and by then everyone else will start shuffling home. I just feel like we didn't do much today... and I guess thats fine, right?

Nature Is The Best!

Little Bear and Pufferfish and I belong to a playgroup that I found on Meetup.com. Once or twice a week the group meets in public places and does activities together with all of the kids, who range in age from newborns to about five or six. Now that its nice out, a lot of the activities are outside.
Today we went to this awesome nature center where they have rescued wild animals. Little Bear had a great time running around with all of the other kids, looking at the animals, and pretending to be animals! We had a picnic lunch, the kids played tag and stuff in a field for a long time, and then we went for a mile-long walk on a walking trail!
The cutest thing was that there was one little boy there who Little Bear really got along with. He's the same age as her, although he's a lot taller. They only met each other once before, because he doesn't come to all of the activities that we do. But today they spent the whole time playing together, and were even holding hands a lot! It was so sweet.

(Click on the picture to see it bigger!)

Here are a few more pics from the nature center today...

Little Bear looking at a rescued raccoon in a cage

Pufferfish by the goldfish pond

And the best part? They're both asleep right now! Pufferfish fell asleep in the car on the way home, and stayed asleep. Little Bear fell asleep resting and watching Sponge Bob! And, by the way, Little Bear never takes naps! Its a miracle!

In other news, I'm a little worried that ten-month-old Pufferfish is going through the Terrible Two's a little early. Whenever she doesn't get her way, she throws herself backwards onto the floor and screams, banging her head on the floor! This morning she followed me around the house throwing tantrums. I was trying to make lunch to bring with us to the playgroup, and I let her stand up on the steps and watch me at the counter (She knows how to climb up them already!) which made her happy for a while. She's usually such a happy baby, but when she's angry, she is aaaaaangry!

Well, Monkeyboy is home, and I gotta go check on the baby, so, until later... C-ya!

Through Little Bear's Eyes...

Yesterday Little Bear and Pufferfish and I went to the Rainforest Cafe! (We had originally planned on going to the park with our playgroup, but it was cold and rainy, and I had been waiting for a good time to take them to the Rainforest Cafe!) We got there right when it opened (11 am) so we didn't have to wait in line at all. We had the whole place to ourselves, in fact! Little Bear loved it! I gave her my digital camera and let her walk around freely, snapping pictures, while I finished eating and feeding Pufferfish. Little Bear took a whole ton of pictures! At home, I loaded them all into my photo editor and did some cropping and light adjustment, and they turned out really good! Check out this work of art! (And keep in mind, these pics were taken by a four-year-old!)

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com