I'm just having a hard time tonight. New Years is a hard time to be a person who doesn't do well in noisy, crowded places. Diana and Jimmy and everyone went out to dinner and then to the bar to celebrate. But I hate the noise and crowds at the bar... I like it sometimesat the bar but not on holidays... especially when people start hugging and kissing and stuff at midnight, I would have wanted to crawl under a table and disintegrate. Sarah invited me to a party she's having with her friends, and Ill probably go there later maybe, but it is also very uncomfortable to be the only adult at a party of 14 and 15 year olds!!! It just highlights the fact that I am not able to function at an "adult" level and that I even have trouble with teenage parties because I never even went to parties when I was a teenager! What I'd really like to do is just take some Tylenol (for my aching head) and curl up with my puppies and go to sleep... but I'm kinda between a rock and a hard place here!
I hate being me.
Being lonely hurts.
I've been alone more NEw Years Eves than not, so I don't know what the big deal is...
but I still hate it.